A seasoned divorce lawyer understands that dealing with your spouse during divorce negotiations can be frustrating. Many of the same communication issues that may have caused the marriage to breakdown may also appear while trying to come to an agreement regarding how the marital estate should be divided.
There are many issues that need to be resolved when divorcing, including child custody, child support, asset division, property division, and division of debts. The more disagreement during this process, the longer the process will take. However, there are steps you can take that can help keep conflicts at a minimum:
1. Realize that acknowledging you have heard or understand what your spouse is saying is different than obeying. Comments such as “I want to make sure I understand what you’re saying. . .” and “Now that I understand. Can I have some time to consider it before I give you an answer,” lets your spouse know that you are actually listening.
2. When discussing how household or other items should be divided, use “I-statements” instead of demands. For example, if an item holds sentimental value to you, let your spouse know by stating, “I feel sentimental about . . .” instead of saying, “You can’t take that.”
3. Do not take things personally and do not assume that everything your spouse does is directed to frustrate you. For example, if he or she is late for a meeting, consider all the reasons for being late such as traffic, delayed at work, etc. Do not assume they are late just to make you angry.
4. During conversations, direct your frustration at the situation, not the person. For example, if selling your marital home may be necessary, articulate your feelings by stating, “This is really a such a hard decision to make and I would like to see if we can work together to figure out a solution,” instead of stating, “If only you had earned enough money when we were married, we would not be in this situation now.”
5. Pick and choose which battles are really the ones that matter. It is important to be able to compromise in this process.
6. Be approachable and easy to talk to. Otherwise, your spouse will not want to discuss things with you and that could put a halt to negotiations.
Let a Divorce Lawyer Help
Ending a marriage is never easy and even the friendliest of divorces can quickly turn acrimonious when it comes to negotiations. If you are involved in divorce negotiations with your spouse, make sure you have an experienced divorce lawyer in Rockville, MD, such as from the Law Office of Daniel Wright, representing your best interests.